On ABC3 there were ads for upcoming shows (eg: “Total Drama – new episodes on Tuesdays at 7:30pm”) but no ads for actual products/toys/whatever. That meant they had to fill the space with these weird cartoon shorts instead. I remember four in particular, which are pictured above. None of them have talking in them – just the characters making grunting noises and onomatopoeia (eg: animal noises).

Bernard – This short is about a cartoon polar bear (NOT Ice Bear from We Bare Bears!) called Bernard. The shorts basically revolve around him trying to live his life but always messing up, like trying to play tennis or sports but the other animals keep beating him and laughing about it.

Leon – This short is about a cartoon lion (NOT Lion from Steven Universe!) I LOVED this show as a kid and I even had a DVD with all the shorts + shorts from The Owl on it and I watched it all the time! It’s basically about this lion and his life in the savanna. For example, one episode where there is this hippo who has a crush on him, and another episode where a monkey laughs and uses a giraffe like a robot to annoy Leon. And another episode where this zebra keeps screaming because it wants flowers, and at the end a piece of mountain crushes Leon, with the flower on top, then the zebra eats it. Poor Leon!

The Owl – This short is about a owl (NOT Hedwig from Harry Potter!) who tries to mind her own business but some other animals or interference come along, annoy her and then the owl always DIES/EXPLODES at the end of every episode. I LOVED this show too and had it on DVD too (I had a DVD with both Leon AND The Owl shorts on it) and I thought that the owl exploding at the end was funny… RIP Kenny Owl. (because just like Kenny from South Park, the owl dies at the end of every episode…)

The Dukes Of Broxstonia – This show is about a rock/metal/whatever band (NOT Loded Diper from Diary Of A Wimpy Kid!) and their crazy adventures. Very trippy show that looks like it should be on Adult Swim. It makes no sense whatsoever and I’m convinced that the animators, writers, etc were all on drugs while making this.

If you’re American, or from some other country that isn’t Australia, chances are you might not know what I’m talking about when I mention “ABC3” (or you might). But I’m pretty sure most ‘Strayans remember this amazing channel before the atrocity known as ABCME took over.

The ABC3 website (now ABCME) was full of Flash games you could play. I remember playing a lot of them as a kid, and to this day you can actually still play some of the games from my childhood. Two of my favourites were Shaun The Sheep game “Home Sheep Home” and Haunt The House (perfect for Halloween!) Yep, if you go to those links, you can actually play said games. Honestly, both of them still genuinely hold up for me to this day, so feel free to check ’em out 😀

I went off-topic there with the mention of the Flash games, but it doesn’t matter. They’re part of my amazing Aussie ABC3 childhood I would have never experienced if I wasn’t Aussie. (Whew, I’m very patriotic today – or should I say, tonight since I’m staying up past my bedtime on a schoolnight!) Now let’s discuss some of the Aussie shows of ABC3, what they’re about and what I remember about them!

The Adventures Of Figaro Pho – This was a show about this guy and his robot dog and all the episodes cover different phobias/fears. It’s a creative concept but this show was disturbing to me as a kid, so I wasn’t a fan.

Behind The News – A news program for kids. I remember we watched this show back in 5th grade and learnt how to take notes from this show! It’s actually a good show – it maturely talks about world issues and news to kids in a way they can understand without being condescending or sugar-coated. This definitely holds up well.

CJ The DJ – This DJ girl and her friends. Never really was interested but at the same time I didn’t despise it either. I remember this episode where they were doing a performance and one of the characters tried to kill a cockroach, thus accidentally creating a dance called “The Cockroach” and winning the contest? Dunno.

Gasp! – Show about this fish called Gasp who has a crush on Ginger, a 10 year old girl who owns him (Yes…) a cat called Catflap, a dog called Dogbox and a bug/beetle called Beetlenick. I watched this show – I liked it back then, but these days most of the episodes are kind of forgettable.

Good Game Spawn Point – Two gamers, Hex and Bajo and a robot called Darren who talk about and review video games. I remember the running gag, “Darren is a noooooob” and the questions gamers sending in having facial emotes for Hex and Bajo to pronounce. (eg: “how do i make a nether portal in minecraft hex please pronounce these faces: ^-^ 😀 owo :P”). I used to like this show.

Prank Patrol – This guy called Scotty and two ninjas who go around and help some kid perform a prank on their friends. For example, I remember one episode had fortune cookies with true fortunes in them and another involved a dancing gorilla breaking out of its enclosure if I recall correctly. There was also running gags with the ninjas (one male, one female) pranking Scotty who would then yell “Ninjas!” My favourite part of the show were the ninjas and the “Recipe For A Prank” segments which showed a girl and boy pranking each other. I remember one of the segments was about putting boiled eggs in milk, and another involved the classic caramel onions disguised as caramel apples.

Almost Naked Animals – Flash cartoon full of gross-out humour and annoying characters. Plot twist: I LOVED this show as a kid and so did my siblings, but even back then the gross-out humour still made me feel nauseous. Show about this dog called Howie who runs a hotel called Banana Kabana with all these other animals. Looking back, this show is TERRIBLE and the animation/art style is ugly. One episode was about the “Earwax Elf” who brings you presents when you pull earwax out of your ears. Another was about a Venus Flytrap called Hank. That’s the type of humour this show has.

Camp Lakebottom – Teletoon show. That should immediately give you an idea of what the animation style and humour would be like. If you guessed Flash animation and fart jokes, CONGRATULATIONS! You’re correct! This is a show about McGee and his friends that go to a camp where the staff are a sasquatch, zombie and an old lady, all of whom look creepy but are friendly. I thought this show was a bit gross-out for my tastes but I didn’t mind sitting through it while waiting for something else. These days when it comes to camp shows, I’ll stick to Camp Camp. (Camp Camp is AMAZING but it’s not relevant to this list. Oh, and it contains swearing and stuff.)

Dani’s House – Sitcom about a girl or something. I don’t remember. I thought it was boring except for the aliens. The aliens were the best part in child me’s opinion.

The Day My Butt Went Psycho – Yep, we Aussies have an entire cartoon about talking butts! Based on the book series by Andy Griffith (I read a lot of his books growing up), this show follows adventures of Zack Freeman and his TALKING BUM Deuce and how they fight bums with toilet paper and stuff – “bumfighting” as they call it. I thought this show was actually quite funny back when I was little.

Deltora Quest – An Australian anime based off book series by Emily Rodda. I remember watching a full episode of the show in 4th grade at the end of the term when all our work was done and the teacher put movies and stuff on. I thought it was pretty decent though I never caught the full series.

Detentionare – Teletoon show about protagonist Lee who gets detention because of a massive prank at school. Never was interested in this but sat through it while waiting for other stuff.

Erky Perky – Show about two bugs who had a good LOIF AT HOTDOG STAND (Yes, it became a bit of a meme). I used to like this one, it wasn’t my favourite but it was good enough. However recently I rewatched it and now I don’t like it as much as I used to – I used to hate Margaret for being a grumpy old cow but now I think Margaret is the only sane character who is only grumpy because of all the other characters which are all incredibly annoying driving her bonkers. Especially Stinks. He is literally a fart joke on legs (he flies by farting and every 0.002 seconds he’s on screen, green fart gas and fart noises come out of him) and has the most annoying voice in the world. (He sounds like a nasally brat who inhaled a helium balloon)

Fleabag Monkeyface – The epitome of gross-out. Contains enough vulgar gross-out humour to make The Day My Butt Went Psycho! look like Steven Universe. Fleabag Monkeyface is DISGUSTING and I hated this show as a kid. It’s about a monkey who was born from a toilet who has fart, burp, booger and earwax-related powers. Plus the CGI is extremely ugly. AVOID THIS AT ALL COSTS! It’s probably one of the WORST shows to ever have been made.

Grizzly Tales for Gruesome Kids – Show that taught cautionary tales. This show was EXTREMELY DISTURBING but taught life lessons. As a kid I saw the episode about the “Spelling Bee” and a girl who put a bee inside her ear so she could pass a spelling bee, which turned out to be a queen bee and then in her sleep she left her window open and all these bees flew into her nostrils, ears, etc and took over and turned her body into a living beehive. Even to this day, that sounds like a concept that would give me nightmares and is actually disturbing me as I type this. The stories all had morals and they were basically made to scare kids into NOT doing the wrong thing (like not to cheat on exams) like fairy tales back in the day. And most of the kids were pompous jerks who made bad decisions.

Grojband – Show about four kids in a band. They also write songs by getting their sister’s diary. I loved this one.

Grossology – Show about gross-out stuff, but was apparently also educational. As a kid I hated this show.

Horrible History – Educational show which teaches about history. I hated this when I was little just because it took up the time slot of another show I loved but with that aside, this is actually a genuinely interesting show. I love how they leave all the gruesome information in rather than sugar-coating it like other media does.

Kid VS Kat – Teletoon decided they wanted their own Invader Zim, and thus this show was born. It’s about this alien cat who constantly gets the main character Coop in trouble. I used to like it, though these days it’s easy to see that the characters and animation are kinda… bleh.

Kobushi – Not much information online about this one but I remember it was this weird show about these sushi people who were constantly stalked by this weird cat who wanted to eat them and kept fantasising about eating the sushi people. But the sushi people always fought back. As a kid I thought it was stupid and I wanted the cat to succeed because the sushi people were just that one-dimensional.

MI High – Show about super agent school kids. Don’t know much about this besides that but yeah, I do remember it. Younger me only liked cartoons so I payed little attention to live action stuff.

Nerds and Monsters – Oh god that pterodactyl looks like that “MMM” Skeksis from The Dark Crystal. Hated this show. Stupid cheap Flash cartoon full of fart jokes. Also, nerd stereotypes.

Numb Chucks – Terrible show. Even as a kid I hated this garbage and always thought this show was stupid. The sheep is a Squidward ripoff and it’s full of fart jokes. I remember one episode revolves around Squidward the sheep farting in a jar and then the stupid beavers get lucky off the “Lucky fart”. Yeah, don’t watch this garbage.

Oggy And The Cockroaches – A cat called Oggy trying to kill these three cockroaches. Essentially, Tom and Jerry but with cockroaches. I loved Tom and Jerry as a kid, so I liked this too, though I didn’t love it as much as Tom and Jerry.

Pixel Pinkie – Annoying, unlikable genie that comes from a cell phone. Even when I was little, I thought Pixel Pinkie was annoying and unlikable. This show is terrible and you should avoid it at all costs.

Rated “A” for Awesome – Show about four kids trying to make things “awesome” instead of lame. The CGI is a bit strange but has a distinct style to it. A lot of bright oversaturated colours. Was mostly neutral on this show back in the day, but looking at it now it seems a bit bland and its TvTropes page even says some people find it to be a rip-off of Phineas and Ferb, so in my opinion, this show is Rated “A” for Awful.

Ruby Gloom – My favourite character was the black cat! This show was creepy yet cute and had a gothic/Halloween vibe to it. I liked it. Pretty good show. Also a lot of people seem to like this too.

Sally Bollywood – A detective girl and her incompetent white friend called Doowee. As a kid I hated this show because I thought it was predictable and had annoying characters, but looking back I think the Indian theme was pretty neat and it was good to have Indian culture/food (I remember an episode with samosas, an Indian food) portrayed in a kids cartoon because most protagonists in kids shows are white. Besides the cultural diversity (something I don’t notice in lots of kid shows) I thought this was just “meh” of a show.

Shaun The Sheep – A show about a bunch of sheep. It was made by the same people who made Wallace and Gromit. This show has a quirky, pleasant and distinctive art style, and shows the fun hijinx of a flock of sheep. Plus not to mention that super fun Shaun The Sheep flash game I mentioned earlier!

Spliced – Ah, another Teletoon show. A show about a bunch of animals spliced together. I used to watch it a lot, but the episodes were a bit disturbing at times. Apparently it was based off Ren and Stimpy.

Yoohoo and Friends – I used to love this show. My favourite character was Pammee. It’s about these people who destroyed the environment, so Father Time turns them into cutesy critters who have to collect gems to get a wish.

Those were just a few of the many shows I remember from ABC3.